Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I Think I Have a Job

Just finished interviewing for a job in Oklahoma City this afternoon, and the office manager said as long as I pass a drug test, I'm hired. It's no high-paying dream job, but I think it's going to be a great fit for me.

This doesn't mean I won't be broke anymore, but it DOES mean I can move closer to Ryan and get the cats out of my parents' hair. WOO-HOO!

I wish my mother could be a little more encouraging. Sometimes she's sensible to a fault, and her first reaction to my good news was to note what a pain it'll be to move and to wonder aloud how I'm going to pay all my bills plus rent. I wanted to say I don't know how I've ever done it, but that I've always managed to survive...and that worrying has never paid the bills.

I'll tell more about the job when I get the offer...

But for now, Perch is climbing my arms wanting some love, and how can I say no to such a darling orange kitty?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Wedding Saga Continues...

It seems my sister and I are talking again...Facebook is good for something, at least.

So I'm now signed up to plan her bridal shower, because the girls who were planning it have gotten way off track with ideas for some sort of bachelorette party instead. I'm pretty irritated with them, as my sister said she didn't want a bachelorette party, and her first shower bombed because of a March blizzard. At this point I guess I'm her only hope for a sensible bridal shower.

I wonder why so many things are going wrong...bridesmaids and groomsmen dropping out, epic March snow, ugly separation between my brother and his wife (with a protection order a la mode), huge falling out with my sister and me, major miscommunication and indecisiveness over bridesmaid dresses and shower plans, church secretary sabotaging all efforts to get counseling and reserve reception space, catering manager in charge of bridal luncheon mysteriously disappearing, groom-to-be fighting with former step-mom over stolen money, our dad furious after finding out from a fellow cop about a recent traffic stop involving my sister, etc...

Are they signs, or are weddings always this difficult?

Friday, April 24, 2009

"There's not much room to go more crazy"

These Neko Case lyrics have been running through my head all evening, and for good reason. My sister was here tonight, and my mom and I helped her put together her wedding invitations.

I wish I could find a coherent way to recount some of the discussion that went on, but a.) my fingers hurt from tying little ribbons, b.) I'm mentally exhausted, and c.) there's no sense to be made of it anyway.

My sister's attitude STINKS. She spoke to everyone--my mom, my dad, me and even her fiance over the phone--in short phrases with a monotone, lackluster voice that reflected exhaustion and a complete lack of anything resembling joy or appreciation. That makes me sad.

(For the record, if I am ever heard talking to Ryan the way my sister talks to her fiance, I want to be slapped then and there, no questions asked. Not that it'll ever happen...I adore him too much.)

I'm supposed to be helping to plan a shower--or a bachelorette party, depending on who you talk to and when--but I haven't heard from the bridesmaid in charge and I don't know what the hell is going on. I tried to get some clarification from my sister, but the more she said, the less sense she made. She kept falling back on an argument about trying to be accomodating to everyone, but she certainly wasn't accomodating my mother and me. At this point, I'm at a loss for ways to help.

Her attitude really stinks--oh, did I already say that?

She graduates three weeks before her wedding, and she has to move out of her apartment as soon as the semester ends. Guess where she's staying for those three to four weeks?

She's taking the extra bedroom where I keep my kitty boys at night. So I'm gradually getting them moved into my room with Sunshine and me. The boys are very accustomed to their room, and they are ready to be put to bed every night at 9pm. They thrive on routine! I don't think they'll mind staying with me much at all, but Sunshine is going to be extremely unhappy with that arrangement. Her Majesty so enjoys her time away from the boys.

I'm hoping if I move things in phases--litter boxes, kitty trees and feeding stations--it won't be too much of a shock to anyone. And it's only for a few weeks...then my sister gets married and moves to Miami*, where she'll spend the next year or so living in wedded bliss--or something.

(*That's Miami, FLORIDA for any Okies who might be wondering. It seems to be a point of confusion around here, even though Miam-uh Oklahoma isn't even pronounced the same way...not to mention that no one outside of Oklahoma has ever even heard of it. I'm just sayin'.)

In other news, I have another job interview next week...in Oklahoma City! Furthermore, it's for a full-time job with pay that doesn't make me want to sob in despair. That's all I'm going to say, though...I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, even though it's with a company I've been trying to interview with since I first started my job search.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Not up for complete sentences tonight

More job interviews this week...one today and another scheduled for tomorrow.

More confused than ever. Realized unemployment pays better than most jobs I've considered thus far.

Have therefore decided not to feel guilty about not taking the first (or second or third) lousy job opportunity to come along.

Continued flux between wanting a job I love and knowing I need a job that pays much better than that.

Considering debt counseling.

Sister moving in weekend after next...need Valium.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

From the Bizarre Files

This was a real attempt by a local reporter to interview a Cranston costume shop owner regarding allegations she'd been cyberstalking a competitor.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Help Wanted to Facilitate Drunk Driving

Another disturbing ad from the Craigslist archives:

Looking for 1-2 Armed cleet cert. for 11-2 thursday-saturday nights may varie, great pay, hours are really easy, very experinced crew to work with You will need to understand how to handle drunk people and getting them to there cars, helping make sure the parking lot doesnt get double parked or have to much loitering, keep in mind it almost like ababy sitting job 99% of the time but there is always a reason to make great pay for little work not for the weak...... if you are interested please contact me and we will talk more via the phone after contact

Because drunk people need help getting to their cars!

(don't even get me started on the grammar)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Duck Stalking

I got a pleasant surprise when I finally dragged myself out of the house for some coffee today. Some days are just not Starbucks days, and when I'm not up for the cheerful banter of the drive thru, I go to Quick Trip, where I'm in and out in seconds. Of course, I still go with a Starbucks beverage: Double Shot + Energy in a can...good stuff!

Anyway, when I pulled into the Quick Trip, I was surprised and amused to see a couple of ducks come around the corner of the building. A third one appeared...and then some more...and then some geese. I laughed hysterically as they ran in a herd, sometimes toward the passers-by to beg, and sometimes nervously away from them.

I was laughing so hard I could barely snap a picture.


After getting my coffee, I drove around behind the QT and into the office complex where the ducks had come from. A duck wandered over to check me out and was soon joined by a friend...and then another.

Again, I found myself cracking up. I love the way they waddle, looking both ways as they cross the road, and how they chatter with each other.

Monday, April 13, 2009

For the "Jobs that Suck" Files

This poor schmuck is out on the side of the road nearly every day, presumably trying to draw customers to the new Firehouse Subs that opened many months ago. I suspect business never has picked up for them.

I guess folks just aren't interested in trying out new sub shops these days. Maybe we spend so much money on our coffee that we can't afford to eat. Maybe we spend so much on cat food that we're forced to buy the cheap beer and stay home.

Some of us have priorities.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Pissing Contest?

It may be all over for me, folks; this may be the last blog post I ever write.

It's been going on for a couple of months now, the occasional discovery of the horrid cat piss smell in certain choice locations. At first we thought it was my parents' demon cat Precious, who seemed especially concerned about the stray cats hanging out in our yard. Then, several weeks later, George was seen at one stinky site twitching his tail, which was very incriminating even though he and Pip twitch their tails like that all the time and have never been known to spray before.

I took George to the vet immediately and ruled out bladder infection but learned he has a sore tooth I can't afford to get fixed (same goes for the fucking jaw pain I've had for two or three weeks now).

All has been quiet since, though poor George has been a little grumpy about his poor tooth.

But now someone has gone and sprayed cat piss on my dad's recliner.

I am so dead. It doesn't matter that we have no proof of who did it, and it doesn't matter that my dad didn't get overtly pissed about it. First of all, the ratio of my cats to my parents' is four to one; the odds are not in my favor. Second, my dad will not likely forget this. I think he's resigned to the fact that his house is filled with women and cats, that he's seriously outnumbered and ultimately has no say in the matter. But this will likely come out later in some passive-aggressive words, and if I don't stay on my toes it might get ugly.

Or maybe we'll all just sing Kum Ba Yah and feed chicken to the cats.

Sisterhood

I was very excited to get my very first "award" from fellow blogger Michelle over a week ago, and I've been trying to figure out what to do with it. I'm supposed to pass it on and then refer readers to my chosen recipients, but I don't follow very many blogs these days because I'm too busy not writing and not working and...you get the point.

Anyway, I have two bloggers to nominate, for whatever it's worth to them:

First up is Amy, who in her blog title has has artfully summed up all there is to say on some days. A fellow animal lover, she houses at least three dogs, two cats and a turtle...it's easy to lose track, because she brings home new creatures more often than I do, and she clearly has a very understanding husband. Amy is one of my angels--the kind of person who is always there in the background and always knows just the right thing to say when I'm feeling my lowest. She gets points for being a really cool mom, for loving coffee, and for being a great cook. Also, I give her bonus points for dealing with depression and chronic pain and still managing to put so many positive vibes out into the world.

Second, I nominate Leah, one of my dear former coworkers at The Guide. Leah is a terrific writer, and her sense of humor--sometimes dry, sometimes brash, often self-deprecating, and always super sharp--seriously brightens my days! Her blog coverage of the series "Friday Night Lights," when she covered it for TV Guide, was beautifully done. I never felt like the experience of watching an episode was complete until I'd read her recap. Plus, it's endearing to see her so enamored with anything--particularly a poignant TV show about high school football in Texas. Leah is one of the smartest people I've ever met, and I deeply appreciate how she opens up in her blog when she needs to work through difficult feelings. It takes courage and a lot of insight to spill one's guts like that, but she does it with such finesse that it almost looks easy.

And that's all I've got, people.

Thanks again, Michelle, for the mention. It came at a time when I really needed a boost, and I appreciate all your support via reading and commenting over the years!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

spoiled

Weird stuff happens to me, especially when my car is involved...is it only me?

Like that time a few years ago when someone walked--or ran!-- up the hood of my car and onto the roof, then slipped and fell, leaving a huge dent in the roof. The footprints told the story, but I had a hell of a time explaining to the cops and the insurance adjuster how I knew exactly what happened.

Today I got a car wash to remove all the pollen and dust stuck to my car, and on the way home, as I turned a corner, I heard an awful clatter and saw a flash of charcoal gray tumbling to the curb, sparkling in the sun. I had to pull over and take a look before I figured out what it was...

My fucking spoiler had fallen off.

So I trudged back to pick it up, stuffed it in my now naked-looking trunk, and drove the last couple of blocks home. Hopefully my dad will help me put it back together tonight.

Uh-oh, I just realized I don't remember seeing my antenna anywhere...

Shit!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I almost feel bad for making fun of this person...

...but I'm doing it anyway. Today's featured Craigslist ad:

Young LADYS needed NOW !! $$$$ (Checotah,OK)
I need 2 young Lady's to give massages, Excellent pay, meet new people, Fun Job Will train right person. This is NOT a prosition ring, Will not be tolarted, HURRY !!!!! Soft Touch Massage, Call 918-***-**** AFTER 9:00 AM to 2:00 PM

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Please tell me I'm adopted.

A few select reasons my family is driving me batty:

My sister, as I may have mentioned, has been wandering around with her head up her ass for the last few months, doing whatever she feels like at the moment without regard to anyone else's needs or feelings, usually while exasperated people wait for her to show up wherever she's supposed to be.

Last Saturday there was a bridal shower for her at the church. The occasion was marked by a big, sloppy, wet blizzard, which was more than a little annoying and had a negative impact on the attendance. After the shower we were having barbecue and a surprise birthday cake for my sister at my parents' house. We all had stops to make on the way home, so my mom said it wouldn't be a problem if my sister and her fiance made a stop too.

I don't think she meant for them to leave us waiting, exasperated and hungry, for two fucking hours while she shopped for a cell phone across town.

My brother was among the waiting, starving family members, but notably absent were his wife and kids. He's moved out of their house, and she says she plans to file for divorce. I can't get into any more detail than that, but I can say divorce sucks for everyone involved...especially the kids. No one stops to think about how they feel until the damage is already done--if then.

It physically sickens me to see this happening to my nephews. It's not fair, and I'm really angry. But I don't know who to blame.

So I get frustrated with my mom, who has been losing sleep worrying about my sister's wedding and my brother's rights as a father and husband. She keeps declaring that she doesn't understand why everything is going wrong.

Because it snowed like hell on the day of my sister's shower, and because my brother's potential divorce is going to ruin the wedding. And because my sister and I still haven't really made up, and I'm trying to help plan a shower for her even though my heart's not in it at all.

I'm not the only one who's frustrated. Tonight I heard my Mom trying to reason with my Grandma Iva, who has Alzheimer's.

"No, you can't stand up by yourself," my mom argued. "If you could, I wouldn't have to come in here and put you in bed every night."

I heard Grandma's voice arguing back, faintly.

"Then show me. If you can stand up, I want to see it. You haven't been able to get out of that wheelchair for five years!"

They're driving each other nuts, and I cannot imagine how my mom copes with being a full-time caretaker. The physical responsibility alone is overwhelming, and I have to admit I can't handle it myself. Maybe I'm a horrible daughter/granddaughter, but I just can't deal with it.

And of course, I'm beating myself up for not being happy about my sister's wedding activities, because I'm still disgusted and furious with her...and every time I start to get over it, she does something else absurdly inconsiderate and I just want to spank her like a little child.

Let's not leave out my dad, who--though he's not doing anything new or different--always makes his contributions to the family discontentment. He was in an especially foul mood tonight, and he left for church cussing and threatening to tell off anyone who so much as looked at him funny during rehearsal for the Easter program.

Also, Sunshine puked on my favorite blanket the other day. Not cool.