Please tell me I'm adopted.

A few select reasons my family is driving me batty:

My sister, as I may have mentioned, has been wandering around with her head up her ass for the last few months, doing whatever she feels like at the moment without regard to anyone else's needs or feelings, usually while exasperated people wait for her to show up wherever she's supposed to be.

Last Saturday there was a bridal shower for her at the church. The occasion was marked by a big, sloppy, wet blizzard, which was more than a little annoying and had a negative impact on the attendance. After the shower we were having barbecue and a surprise birthday cake for my sister at my parents' house. We all had stops to make on the way home, so my mom said it wouldn't be a problem if my sister and her fiance made a stop too.

I don't think she meant for them to leave us waiting, exasperated and hungry, for two fucking hours while she shopped for a cell phone across town.

My brother was among the waiting, starving family members, but notably absent were his wife and kids. He's moved out of their house, and she says she plans to file for divorce. I can't get into any more detail than that, but I can say divorce sucks for everyone involved...especially the kids. No one stops to think about how they feel until the damage is already done--if then.

It physically sickens me to see this happening to my nephews. It's not fair, and I'm really angry. But I don't know who to blame.

So I get frustrated with my mom, who has been losing sleep worrying about my sister's wedding and my brother's rights as a father and husband. She keeps declaring that she doesn't understand why everything is going wrong.

Because it snowed like hell on the day of my sister's shower, and because my brother's potential divorce is going to ruin the wedding. And because my sister and I still haven't really made up, and I'm trying to help plan a shower for her even though my heart's not in it at all.

I'm not the only one who's frustrated. Tonight I heard my Mom trying to reason with my Grandma Iva, who has Alzheimer's.

"No, you can't stand up by yourself," my mom argued. "If you could, I wouldn't have to come in here and put you in bed every night."

I heard Grandma's voice arguing back, faintly.

"Then show me. If you can stand up, I want to see it. You haven't been able to get out of that wheelchair for five years!"

They're driving each other nuts, and I cannot imagine how my mom copes with being a full-time caretaker. The physical responsibility alone is overwhelming, and I have to admit I can't handle it myself. Maybe I'm a horrible daughter/granddaughter, but I just can't deal with it.

And of course, I'm beating myself up for not being happy about my sister's wedding activities, because I'm still disgusted and furious with her...and every time I start to get over it, she does something else absurdly inconsiderate and I just want to spank her like a little child.

Let's not leave out my dad, who--though he's not doing anything new or different--always makes his contributions to the family discontentment. He was in an especially foul mood tonight, and he left for church cussing and threatening to tell off anyone who so much as looked at him funny during rehearsal for the Easter program.

Also, Sunshine puked on my favorite blanket the other day. Not cool.