Pissing Contest?

It may be all over for me, folks; this may be the last blog post I ever write.

It's been going on for a couple of months now, the occasional discovery of the horrid cat piss smell in certain choice locations. At first we thought it was my parents' demon cat Precious, who seemed especially concerned about the stray cats hanging out in our yard. Then, several weeks later, George was seen at one stinky site twitching his tail, which was very incriminating even though he and Pip twitch their tails like that all the time and have never been known to spray before.

I took George to the vet immediately and ruled out bladder infection but learned he has a sore tooth I can't afford to get fixed (same goes for the fucking jaw pain I've had for two or three weeks now).

All has been quiet since, though poor George has been a little grumpy about his poor tooth.

But now someone has gone and sprayed cat piss on my dad's recliner.

I am so dead. It doesn't matter that we have no proof of who did it, and it doesn't matter that my dad didn't get overtly pissed about it. First of all, the ratio of my cats to my parents' is four to one; the odds are not in my favor. Second, my dad will not likely forget this. I think he's resigned to the fact that his house is filled with women and cats, that he's seriously outnumbered and ultimately has no say in the matter. But this will likely come out later in some passive-aggressive words, and if I don't stay on my toes it might get ugly.

Or maybe we'll all just sing Kum Ba Yah and feed chicken to the cats.