It's inevitable this time of year, with all the storms and potential for storms...I'm getting pensive.
The good news is that my introspective moods can lead to good writing; the bad news is that I get so caught up in thinking that I'm too occupied to write. Hopefully I'll eventually sort my scattered thoughts into some well thought out (and hopefully coherent) blog posts.
You know, something other than "job hunting sucks" and "I'm really not a loser, just a misunderstood Cat Wrangler."
But for now I'm listening to the rain fall outside my windows and seeing how much damage I can do to a bottle of wine.
So far, so good!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
What Next?
I know Oklahoma is notorious for its crazy weather, but it's about to get of hand. This morning we had a nice rain with thunder and some dime-sized hail...perfectly acceptable for this time of year, and welcome as we've been under a burn ban.
But this weekend...winter storm watch.
Can't we just stick with the normal spring tornadoes and leave well enough alone?
I took George in to have his bladder checked today. Apparently he was spotted at the scene of the crime just before a spraying incident occurred. Twice. Hopefully this isn't a behavior issue; I'll find out tomorrow if he has any kind of bladder infection.
(Because, as we cat people know, that's the first thing to check for when deviant potty behavior arises.)
I take my kids to a vet that treats only cats, just like I did in PA. So I'm somewhat accustomed to state-of-the-art cat medicine...I've even taken George to a chiropractor. But I was astounded today when the tech took George's blood pressure:
She actually took out a little bitty arm band and wrapped it around his front leg.
How adorable is that?
But this weekend...winter storm watch.
Can't we just stick with the normal spring tornadoes and leave well enough alone?
I took George in to have his bladder checked today. Apparently he was spotted at the scene of the crime just before a spraying incident occurred. Twice. Hopefully this isn't a behavior issue; I'll find out tomorrow if he has any kind of bladder infection.
(Because, as we cat people know, that's the first thing to check for when deviant potty behavior arises.)
I take my kids to a vet that treats only cats, just like I did in PA. So I'm somewhat accustomed to state-of-the-art cat medicine...I've even taken George to a chiropractor. But I was astounded today when the tech took George's blood pressure:
She actually took out a little bitty arm band and wrapped it around his front leg.
How adorable is that?
More of the Same
I haven't posted in a while because there hasn't been anything new to say. Job hunting still sucks, depression still comes and goes but rarely gets the best of me, and afternoon naps have become part of my daily routine. My sister and I still don't really talk, and I don't think that bothers her.
Craigslist is still a feeding ground for soulless parasites, and the so-called legitimate job search sites aren't any better.
I never heard from the Humane Society after my interview a couple of weeks ago, and that's disappointing and irritating. But maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
Things changed a bit today, though, and I got two phone calls indicating a couple of job offers MIGHT be on my horizon. One call was regarding a veterinary receptionist position, and I'm not very inclined to pursue that one. The other call, though, was from the temp agency with a potential assignment that sounds like a much sweeter deal; the pay is better, and it's only a short-term contract job. Hopefully I'll hear something by Monday...
Tomorrow I'm spending the day with my nephew Charlie, so it should be a fun-filled and exhausting day!
Craigslist is still a feeding ground for soulless parasites, and the so-called legitimate job search sites aren't any better.
I never heard from the Humane Society after my interview a couple of weeks ago, and that's disappointing and irritating. But maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
Things changed a bit today, though, and I got two phone calls indicating a couple of job offers MIGHT be on my horizon. One call was regarding a veterinary receptionist position, and I'm not very inclined to pursue that one. The other call, though, was from the temp agency with a potential assignment that sounds like a much sweeter deal; the pay is better, and it's only a short-term contract job. Hopefully I'll hear something by Monday...
Tomorrow I'm spending the day with my nephew Charlie, so it should be a fun-filled and exhausting day!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
this is me being dramatic
This has been the most incredibly overwhelming day...very unproductive, lots of time spent pacing, spacing, and sleeping off my anxiety.
I had the best interview ever this afternoon, with a well-known rescue organization here in Tulsa. I'd responded to an ad for a pet adoption counselor, but that spot was already filled. The woman who emailed me (I had no idea what her position was) said another spot might open up soon. I told her what kind of pay I was hoping for (ideally), and by some miracle she emailed me again instead of chucking my resume in the trash.
After I assured her I was still interested in spite of the pay, she invited me for an interview. I didn't know anything about the position I'd be interviewing for, and I didn't know who I'd be talking to either.
The interview was at 3:30 today, and by 2:00 I was all ready to go. Nerve-wracking!
Turns out the lady I met with was the founder, and the position we talked about doesn't exist yet. However, she liked my resume and wanted to see if I'd be interested in a PR job, provided she gets approval for it. She was planning to discuss it with the board of directors tonight.
I think she liked me...I'm pretty sure I held up well when she questioned me about how much thought I've given to leaving the corporate world for animal rescue. The idea of public speaking terrifies me, and I think that concerned her a bit. But, if I read her correctly, I don't think she had ruled out the possibility of taking a chance on me.
I haven't been able to concentrate on anything today. I don't know if I'm excited, or hopeful, or terrified, or just completely dumbstruck. "How do you feel about television?" as an interview question is one I'm familiar with from TV Guide, but it was completely shocking in the context of this particular interview. I believe she was referring to things like taking a dog or cat on a local news show, which really isn't that scary if I think about clutching a helpless animal for dear life the whole time.
Oh, I forgot to mention we spent the entire interview shouting over barking dogs...kick ass!
This evening I found out things aren't going well with my brother and his wife (my two nephews' parents), and that news isn't sitting well with me. I don't want to go into detail, and there's nothing I can do about it...so I'm just processing information and trying not to freak out.
This would be a good time to stay up all night drinking beer and eating M&Ms, but unfortunately I'm out of both.
p.s. There's no excuse for my typing tonight. I've already caught at least a dozen ridiculous typos, and I suspect there are many more. Let's just cut me some slack today, okay?
I had the best interview ever this afternoon, with a well-known rescue organization here in Tulsa. I'd responded to an ad for a pet adoption counselor, but that spot was already filled. The woman who emailed me (I had no idea what her position was) said another spot might open up soon. I told her what kind of pay I was hoping for (ideally), and by some miracle she emailed me again instead of chucking my resume in the trash.
After I assured her I was still interested in spite of the pay, she invited me for an interview. I didn't know anything about the position I'd be interviewing for, and I didn't know who I'd be talking to either.
The interview was at 3:30 today, and by 2:00 I was all ready to go. Nerve-wracking!
Turns out the lady I met with was the founder, and the position we talked about doesn't exist yet. However, she liked my resume and wanted to see if I'd be interested in a PR job, provided she gets approval for it. She was planning to discuss it with the board of directors tonight.
I think she liked me...I'm pretty sure I held up well when she questioned me about how much thought I've given to leaving the corporate world for animal rescue. The idea of public speaking terrifies me, and I think that concerned her a bit. But, if I read her correctly, I don't think she had ruled out the possibility of taking a chance on me.
I haven't been able to concentrate on anything today. I don't know if I'm excited, or hopeful, or terrified, or just completely dumbstruck. "How do you feel about television?" as an interview question is one I'm familiar with from TV Guide, but it was completely shocking in the context of this particular interview. I believe she was referring to things like taking a dog or cat on a local news show, which really isn't that scary if I think about clutching a helpless animal for dear life the whole time.
Oh, I forgot to mention we spent the entire interview shouting over barking dogs...kick ass!
This evening I found out things aren't going well with my brother and his wife (my two nephews' parents), and that news isn't sitting well with me. I don't want to go into detail, and there's nothing I can do about it...so I'm just processing information and trying not to freak out.
This would be a good time to stay up all night drinking beer and eating M&Ms, but unfortunately I'm out of both.
p.s. There's no excuse for my typing tonight. I've already caught at least a dozen ridiculous typos, and I suspect there are many more. Let's just cut me some slack today, okay?
Monday, March 9, 2009
Chasing My Tail
I've been feeling pretty optimistic about the job hunt for the last few days, but my thoughts are starting to swirl and I'm getting discouraged again.
It's all so overwhelming, but the simple truth is that I want a job that I love AND I want to work with animals AND I want to move to Oklahoma City AND I want all of the above sooner rather than later.
I wish things would just fall into place, already.
This is what Craigslist does to me - it's depression inducing. It has given me a few good job leads, but mostly it just reminds me how many ignorant people there are in the world, how few people can put together a coherent sentence, and how desperate everyone is these days.
Okay, break time. I need to entertain myelf or something.
Fuck job searching!
It's all so overwhelming, but the simple truth is that I want a job that I love AND I want to work with animals AND I want to move to Oklahoma City AND I want all of the above sooner rather than later.
I wish things would just fall into place, already.
This is what Craigslist does to me - it's depression inducing. It has given me a few good job leads, but mostly it just reminds me how many ignorant people there are in the world, how few people can put together a coherent sentence, and how desperate everyone is these days.
Okay, break time. I need to entertain myelf or something.
Fuck job searching!
now, that's just sad
Maybe I should hire myself out to write employment ads for people...because, honestly, most of the ones I see are terribly written. For example, this just sounds like a sorry-ass job:
That's not the entirety of the ad...but it's where I stopped reading!
Successful candidate must be prepared to work Monday thru Friday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., without formal breaks and with occasional weekends and evenings. No benefits available.
That's not the entirety of the ad...but it's where I stopped reading!
through dark hallways with no end
"I had to move your car this morning, and when I started it, the most awful music came on..."
--Mom
Maybe I'm cracked, but this song makes me happy!
Captive - Liz Durrett
--Mom
Maybe I'm cracked, but this song makes me happy!
Captive - Liz Durrett
Saturday, March 7, 2009
sometimes Craigslist reminds me how much worse life could be...
Volunteer Goat Helpers
Looking for a couple volunteers to do farm work and help worm goats. Get hands on experience and make yourself proud to contribute your time and effort.
Looking for a couple volunteers to do farm work and help worm goats. Get hands on experience and make yourself proud to contribute your time and effort.
aimless wandering
I've really been in a funk today. It's been chasing me down for a while, and it finally caught up with me: all kinds of aches and pains, and a pitiful feeling that I don't want to do anything because...well, what's the point?
I hate that--depression is such a fickle bitch.
In my job searching endeavors this past week, it occurred to me that at the end of this month I'll have been back in Tulsa for a year. A year! How did that happen?
And why does that depress me? I really am fairly happy with my life. Living with my parents hasn't exactly filled me with joy, but it eliminates so many financial burdens. When I came home, I left behind all kinds of responsibilities that were really weighing me down.
Aha - maybe that's it. I miss working hard. I miss being an expert at what I do and being the one people come to for answers. For the last six months, I haven't been an expert at anything but loafing. And, while loafing definitely has its merits, it's not very rewarding.
I want to work; I want to be needed.
The last week has been pretty intense, as I realized I need to get a job SOON. I've had two interviews, and both of them were weird. I don't know what I expected, really--temp work and kennel jobs don't require a lot of personal or intellectual scrutiny, I guess.
The interview with the doggy daycare was especially unsettling. First, the lady who contacted me wasn't expecting me when I got there, and her partner couldn't remember my name. When they finally came to the front office, they chatted with each other for a few minutes before finally taking me to their "detached office," which turned out to be a Subway shop at the end of the back alley.
In all, the actual interview lasted about ten minutes, and they probably asked me two questions. I definitely don't think they're going to offer me a job, and if they do I'm going to turn it down. Because in the course of the "interview" I realized how completely inexperienced and unqualified I am to manage even one dog...not to mention dozens at once!
And that's okay...this realization gives me some direction. I need to either get a volunteer job to get some experience handling dogs, or I need to focus on my area of expertise: cats.
The interview with the temp agency was a bit of a letdown too, although I can understand why that process is so shallow. The temporary nature of the business itself probably doesn't foster much teamwork or personal introspection. I hadn't thought about that before the interview. I can type, I can add, and I can spell. That's about all they need from me.
But a temp job is a good option for me right now, because I'm not willing to commit to anything long-term here in Tulsa, and I don't want to end up stuck in a cubicle. It's just something to get some income until I find what I'm looking for.
And what I'm looking for is a rewarding job that hopefully involves crawling on the ground with furry creatures...preferably in Oklahoma City. I want something that has meaning, and I want relationships with coworkers. Is that too much to ask?
That's what I miss the most from TV Guide...the relationships. I wasn't extremely close with very many people there, but I had the best team ever and they inspired me. Their work ethic was exceptional, and they were FUN. They had some serious spunk; that was what kept me coming back for so long. I miss those crazy internationals!
Now I'm just getting sappy and whiny. But I don't think there's supposed to be a point to any of this, except that I'm trying to write my way out of a funk.
However, if I were to try and sum it all up, I think I'd have to say the job angst of this last week has just taken a toll on me. I basically went from not job hunting at all to desperately trying to find a job NOW. I got into a panic for a while, and all the gloom and doom over the economy fed that anxiety a little too much.
I just need to take some deep breaths and appreciate what I have. Like my kitty cats, and the love of a seriously awesome guy. And the fact that I don't work at TV Guide anymore...kickass coworkers aside, that job was killing my soul.
Things are looking up. The clouds that dampened my day are supposed to develop into thunderstorms tonight, and that means it won't be long before I'm wakened by tornado sirens in the middle of the night. Call me weird, but I love tornado season.
Hurricane - Mindy Smith
I hate that--depression is such a fickle bitch.
In my job searching endeavors this past week, it occurred to me that at the end of this month I'll have been back in Tulsa for a year. A year! How did that happen?
And why does that depress me? I really am fairly happy with my life. Living with my parents hasn't exactly filled me with joy, but it eliminates so many financial burdens. When I came home, I left behind all kinds of responsibilities that were really weighing me down.
Aha - maybe that's it. I miss working hard. I miss being an expert at what I do and being the one people come to for answers. For the last six months, I haven't been an expert at anything but loafing. And, while loafing definitely has its merits, it's not very rewarding.
I want to work; I want to be needed.
The last week has been pretty intense, as I realized I need to get a job SOON. I've had two interviews, and both of them were weird. I don't know what I expected, really--temp work and kennel jobs don't require a lot of personal or intellectual scrutiny, I guess.
The interview with the doggy daycare was especially unsettling. First, the lady who contacted me wasn't expecting me when I got there, and her partner couldn't remember my name. When they finally came to the front office, they chatted with each other for a few minutes before finally taking me to their "detached office," which turned out to be a Subway shop at the end of the back alley.
In all, the actual interview lasted about ten minutes, and they probably asked me two questions. I definitely don't think they're going to offer me a job, and if they do I'm going to turn it down. Because in the course of the "interview" I realized how completely inexperienced and unqualified I am to manage even one dog...not to mention dozens at once!
And that's okay...this realization gives me some direction. I need to either get a volunteer job to get some experience handling dogs, or I need to focus on my area of expertise: cats.
The interview with the temp agency was a bit of a letdown too, although I can understand why that process is so shallow. The temporary nature of the business itself probably doesn't foster much teamwork or personal introspection. I hadn't thought about that before the interview. I can type, I can add, and I can spell. That's about all they need from me.
But a temp job is a good option for me right now, because I'm not willing to commit to anything long-term here in Tulsa, and I don't want to end up stuck in a cubicle. It's just something to get some income until I find what I'm looking for.
And what I'm looking for is a rewarding job that hopefully involves crawling on the ground with furry creatures...preferably in Oklahoma City. I want something that has meaning, and I want relationships with coworkers. Is that too much to ask?
That's what I miss the most from TV Guide...the relationships. I wasn't extremely close with very many people there, but I had the best team ever and they inspired me. Their work ethic was exceptional, and they were FUN. They had some serious spunk; that was what kept me coming back for so long. I miss those crazy internationals!
Now I'm just getting sappy and whiny. But I don't think there's supposed to be a point to any of this, except that I'm trying to write my way out of a funk.
However, if I were to try and sum it all up, I think I'd have to say the job angst of this last week has just taken a toll on me. I basically went from not job hunting at all to desperately trying to find a job NOW. I got into a panic for a while, and all the gloom and doom over the economy fed that anxiety a little too much.
I just need to take some deep breaths and appreciate what I have. Like my kitty cats, and the love of a seriously awesome guy. And the fact that I don't work at TV Guide anymore...kickass coworkers aside, that job was killing my soul.
Things are looking up. The clouds that dampened my day are supposed to develop into thunderstorms tonight, and that means it won't be long before I'm wakened by tornado sirens in the middle of the night. Call me weird, but I love tornado season.
Hurricane - Mindy Smith
Thursday, March 5, 2009
...because that's how I roll
you were sewn together with a tapestry of molecules
a billion baby galaxies and wide open spaces
everything you need is here
everything you fear is here
and it's holding you up
it just keeps holding you up
Getting ready for my job interview this morning was far less gut-wrenching than yesterday's push to get out of the house. I woke to my alarm, which I haven't done in months.
Actually, that's not quite correct. I didn't really sleep last night, so I was mostly awake when the alarm went off.
Anyway, having an appointment time helped kick me into gear, and I confidently dressed and slapped on some makeup. Never mind that the makeup looked terrible again; I've realized it's not actually the makeup, but my complexion, which has gone haywire. And, please, never mind that I later found a hole in my (very pretty) thrift store blouse and learned there was still a spare button in a plastic bag attached to the inside of my brand new slacks. At least no one else knew.
I allowed time to stop for coffee, and I even arrived early (que te calles, Eric).
I had to drive past TV Guide on my way there, and that was a little weird/sad. But somehow it also gave me a boost in confidence, seeing that building where I spent so many years of my life.
As for the interview, the tests were excruciating at first--I didn't expect so much math, with decimals and fractions to boot! I didn't use the calculator they provided, partly because I wasn't sure I was supposed to (then, dummy, why was it there?) and partly to satisfy my ego.
Eventually it moved on to spelling and grammar, and that was a breeze. Most of the tests were a breeze, in fact, and I was told my scores were exceptional.
So now I'm officially available for temp work.
Also, tomorrow I have an interview at a doggie daycare. The pay is shit, but it could be fun!
I'm feeling much more Zen today, and I'm going to slow up on the frantic resume-sending. I might even watch a few more episodes of The Sopranos; I just borrowed the first season from Ryan, and I intend to watch the whole series. I think I deserve a reward today.
Hmm...Zen...Sopranos? I don't know.
Anyway, I've also decided to listen to the brilliant words of wisdom I gave Eric last night:
"They'll be glad they hired you, whenever they do...whoever they are."
No One Said It Would Be Easy - Cloud Cult
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
More Adventures of the Jobless Cat Lady
I've applied for about 10 jobs since my outing earlier today...and several of them are veterinary or otherwise animal-related jobs. So my dreams of becoming a shit-shoveling, cat-wrangling, dog-slobber-covered, horse-trodden crazy cat lady are not entirely dead!
I'm trying not to be nervous about interviewing with the temp agency tomorrow. Surely they'll see that anyone would be damn lucky to hire me.
It got really warm here today and will be even warmer tomorrow. I have the windows cracked, but it's stuffy in my bedroom and I sense a restless night coming on...
I'm trying not to be nervous about interviewing with the temp agency tomorrow. Surely they'll see that anyone would be damn lucky to hire me.
It got really warm here today and will be even warmer tomorrow. I have the windows cracked, but it's stuffy in my bedroom and I sense a restless night coming on...
this is so much worse than online dating
This was me this morning as I got ready to go out job hunting:
My face was all broken out, as usual. My makeup looked like it was done by a twelve-year-old, or by someone never wears makeup anymore because she doesn't have a job. My hair had static in it. My clothes looked nice (thrift store finds, thank you very much), but they felt completely unnatural. I wanted to stay home and sob.
But I forced myself to descend the stairs, slowly, gripping the handrail and tiptoeing in my high-heeled boots. I felt like a fool. My mom smiled and complemented my thrift store clothes, and I staggered out the door.
This is me now:
"Whew!"
I put in one application and brought home three more. I also have an interview tomorrow with a temp agency. And, in a few minutes I'll be back to applying for jobs online.
It appears my dream of becoming a cat wrangler may have to wait a bit longer, as I've reached a point where I can no longer afford to hold out for the ideal job. So I'm looking for a job, period.
I've sold two men's shirts on ebay, but I screwed up on the first one and may have to cancel the sale. I have tons more stuff to list, but the pesky job search is taking priority at the moment and my career as an ebay entrepreneur is off to a very slow start.
But I have coffee, I have my laptop (have I ever mentioned how much I adore my laptop?) and I have my cats.
Life is good, and I no longer feel the urge to sob.
My face was all broken out, as usual. My makeup looked like it was done by a twelve-year-old, or by someone never wears makeup anymore because she doesn't have a job. My hair had static in it. My clothes looked nice (thrift store finds, thank you very much), but they felt completely unnatural. I wanted to stay home and sob.
But I forced myself to descend the stairs, slowly, gripping the handrail and tiptoeing in my high-heeled boots. I felt like a fool. My mom smiled and complemented my thrift store clothes, and I staggered out the door.
This is me now:
"Whew!"
I put in one application and brought home three more. I also have an interview tomorrow with a temp agency. And, in a few minutes I'll be back to applying for jobs online.
It appears my dream of becoming a cat wrangler may have to wait a bit longer, as I've reached a point where I can no longer afford to hold out for the ideal job. So I'm looking for a job, period.
I've sold two men's shirts on ebay, but I screwed up on the first one and may have to cancel the sale. I have tons more stuff to list, but the pesky job search is taking priority at the moment and my career as an ebay entrepreneur is off to a very slow start.
But I have coffee, I have my laptop (have I ever mentioned how much I adore my laptop?) and I have my cats.
Life is good, and I no longer feel the urge to sob.
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