a little advice for bridesmaids

It's never a good idea to go shopping for a bridesmaid dress alone.

It may seem like a good idea, especially if your sister (the bride) is driving you crazy, your mom is worried that the most recently selected dress is too clingy for the girls with hips and boobs, and you just want to prepare for the next fitting by trying on one or two dresses in peace and quiet.

But it's not a good idea.

Because the sales girl might stick you in a fitting room with no mirror inside, requiring you to step outside before the damn dress is fully zipped and before you're even sure whether your boobs are sufficiently contained.

And there might be a guy sitting right across from your fitting room, talking loudly to his girlfriend in another fitting room but also keeping an eye out for whatever there is to see.

The sales girl might hand you one of those nifty squeeze-in-your-stomach and push-your-boobs-up bra-things and say "Let me know if you need help with that" just before disappearing.

There's no maybe about it: you can't put one of those things on by yourself. It's not humanly possible.

Besides, the guy outside your fitting room might have perked up and listened a little too eagerly when the sales girl asked for your bra size, causing you to get a little flustered and accidentally request a smaller size than you actually need.

And you might not be able to ask for help with the bra-thing, because you might already be undressed and if you so much as crack the fitting room door, that guy across from you might see everything your mama gave you.

And the sales girl might not to come back to check on you at all.

In the end, you'll realize that you need your sister, who's become an expert at cramming girls into dresses. And trust me, all the cramming is worth it in the end.

I'm just sayin'.