The Adventures of a Lukewarm Blogger

I've been waiting to write my 100th post until I could think of something special to do, but that eventually became just one of the many things I was putting off. So I've decided to just get it over with and start working on the next 100 posts.

Effective this Friday I'm getting hired "permanently" at my job. Part of me thinks my boss is only doing this because she can't be bothered to keep approving my time card every week for the temp agency. I have, you see, had to remind her every single fucking Monday since the week she forgot to pay me, and that's usually after two other courtesy reminders on Friday!

Maybe it's the weather...the recent cooling-off and the unusual amount of rain for this time of year...maybe it's the chaotic work environment with a boss who openly avoids having to talk to us whenever she can get away with it and talks gibberish when she does bother to communicate...maybe it's the fact that I'm making just enough money to tread water but can't ever quite get my head above the surface and keep it there. Whatever it is, I'm more stressed out than ever, and I'm feeling pretty down about it.

Work today felt like what I imagine it's like to be buried alive. I started out in a hole, and every time I tried to climb out, someone threw another shovel full of dirt on me. And before I could dig my way out of that dirt, another load fell in on me. By the end of the day, somehow I had more stuff piled up than when I started, even though I'd been working nonstop all day. I hate that feeling.

Eh...it's just a gloomy day. And I'm coming down off a "customer service week" high, during which my boss had to pretend she appreciated us but ended up using all the "fun" activities as an excuse to avoid communicating with us. And I had a client chew me out today for something that was totally not my fault. I wasn't expecting that, so I had my guard down. Hell, I always have my guard down when it comes to being yelled at for things I can't control, because I just don't understand that mentality.

I absolutely hate people who think the only way to get what they want is by bullying others. And that is why customer service is NOT the field for me!

So there's a little slice of what my life's been like lately: I don't like my job, and I detest my boss. I'm bitter and cynical and pissed off, and recently I've had to edit myself because more and more I find I'm becoming that negative person in the office who makes everyone else feel hopeless. I usually catch it and try to come up with something positive in its place, but it's totally empty. I don't believe a damn word I'm saying.

I guess that's why, paragraph after paragraph, I keep telling myself pretty soon this post will take on a positive tone. And I just keep bitching. I'm an endless fountain of bitching.

Well, there are some things to be happy about...for example, I'm halfway through Season 1 of "Lost," and I'm enjoying the early episodes more than ever this time around. My goal is to watch all of the first five seasons before Season 6 starts in early 2010.

Lying around watching TV for hours on end and then more hours on end? It won't be easy, but I think I'm up for the challenge.

And, now that Post #100 is done, I can come back for #101 very soon to daydream, tell a funny story, or just bitch and moan some more...whatever the hell I feel like doing!