Road Rage: A True Story

I had a road rage incident today with a little prick in a big truck, and I'm still laughing about it.

I was following Ryan to a Jiffy Lube in Oklahoma City when it happened. Ryan changed lanes, and before I could fall in behind him, the jerk in the pickup came speeding up beside me. I knew if I got behind him I wouldn't be able to see Ryan's car anymore, so I sped up and put on my turn signal as a way of asking him to back off and let me in.

Instead, he sped up just as I moved over in front of him, and I had to swerve back over to keep from getting hit. Having made his point, the jackass backed off and I continued with my lane change, using a hand signal to indicate I wasn't pleased with his manners.

He went around me on the right, chucking a piece of ice as he passed me, and then got in front of Ryan before stopping at a red light. Ryan and I were about to turn left, so I passed him again after moving to the left turn lane. And I was really mad...so I didn't just flip him off.

I rolled down the window, honked my horn, stuck my arm out the window and waved my middle finger high.

My triumphant moment was cut short when I realized the green arrow was gone and I had to stop while the jerk got a green light. So much for having the last laugh; he was going to pass me one more time. I braced myself, knowing he had a drink and wasn't afraid to use it.

I didn't care...flipping him off felt good, and I was ready to pay the price for it. Besides, I knew my windshield would get washed when I got my oil changed.

As he passed, a few drops of clear liquid splattered lightly over my windshield, and it was so gloriously anticlimactic that I laughed out loud!

As it turned out, the Jiffy Lube was closed. I had to get my oil changed elsewhere, and they neither cleaned my windshield nor filled my empty wiper fluid tank. So when I picked up my car, it was still covered in syrupy splatters.

But they rotated my tires for free, so it all worked out. I refilled my own washer fluid and got a car wash. Problem solved.

Okay look, guys: I know this is a lame story, but my life lacks adventure these days, and that was the most excitement I've had all summer. Just humor me, okay?